


I Feel It All (I Feel It All)

by emryses



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Oblivious Merlin, Pining, Pining Arthur, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 02:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4042648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emryses/pseuds/emryses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two best friends spend a night together drinking beers in a field and realize there might be something more, sadly that’s only the beginning. Also known as: that generic High school fic where Merlin and Arthur are both pining, oblivious losers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Feel It All (I Feel It All)

**Author's Note:**

> Non beta'd. I wrote this in a day, I'm just getting back into the feel of writing again, so constructive criticism is appreciated! I might edit this more later.

**ARTHUR** **(Fri. 22:57 P.M.) TO MERLIN:** Meet u there?  

Merlin shoots a quick text back to Arthur and sets out the door. He and Arthur often do this on their Friday nights. They meet at the empty field about a five minute walk from their houses. When you’re living in such a small town there isn’t much else to do than to get shit-faced with your best friend after (in Merlin’s case) a incredibly awful date. 

When Merlin arrives in the field Arthur is already there, laying down on the grass, beer resting on his stomach.

“Hey,” Merlin says as he walks up to him, reaching into the bag Arthur brought and pulling out a drink of his own. He sits crossed legged on the ground, opens the can and takes a big swig.

Arthur grunts his own hello. They sit in silence for a quick moment before Arthur sits up, faces Merlin, and, taking a swig says, “Sophia dumped me.”

Merlin looks dumbstruck for a second, “Seriously?”

“Yeah, mate. Tonight, like, literally an hour ago.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

Arthur and Sophia had been the talk of the town for months. They had spent almost every waking moment together — much to Merlin’s disappointment. It’s not that Merlin, like, was in love with Arthur or something. It was just that, before Sophia he was so used to always having Arthur around. After school, at nights, on weekends. Suddenly if Merlin said, “Mate, wanna come over tonight? Mum’s away.” Arthur’s response wouldn’t be, “Yeah whatever” it would be, “Nah sorry hanging out at Sophia’s.”

Bottom line, Merlin had realized he needed more friends. 

“So, what … happened?” Merlin asks.

Arthur shrugged. “I don’t really even know. I took her out to The Rising Sun, I was driving her back home, and when I pulled up in her driveway she, like, turned to me and just said ‘I don’t like the colour of your hair.’”

Merlin laughs, “She what?”

“She broke up with me.”

“Because she didn’t like the colour of your hair?” Merlin laughs again, snorting into his drink.

“Shut the fuck up,” Arthur grits out.

“Sophia seriously broke up with you because she didn’t like your hair?” Merlin wants to clarify.

“Yes. She looked at me, said some shit about how she didn’t like the colour of my hair, never had and it ‘wasn’t something she could overlook’, went into her house, and just left me sitting in my car in her fucking driveway.”

“Because she didn’t like _the colour of your hair_ ,” Merlin says, once again, taking this all in.

“Yep.”

“Sophia’s fucking nuts anyway, mate.”

Arthur shrugs, “Yeah but she was hot.”

Merlin nods. He looks at Arthur, taking a swig from his beer. Arthur’s hair wasn’t bad. He had never really looked at it before but it was … nice, or whatever. Blond. Very blond, the moonlight shone off it.

“Well, uh, I don’t mind your hair.”

Arthur’s eyes turn up for a moment to meet Merlin’s, “Yeah?” he says.

“Yeah,” Merlin says, “Y’know it’s blond. Girls like that I guess. A-and Sophia has blonde hair so I don’t know what her big deal is with hair colour. But yeah, I don’t mind your hair, mate.”

“Thanks,” Arthur says.

“It does suck, though,” Merlin sighs.

“Yeah.”

The two of them crush their beer cans in their hands, throwing them somewhere off in the field, and dig into the cooler to open two more.

“So I guess I win crappiest night,” Arthur says, “That means I get to chose tomorrow: my dad’s out of town and Morgana’s off doing whatever the fuck she does, so I say we order a ton of pizza, play some video games and drink the rest of this beer.”

This is a game they’ve played ever since they started dating people. They’d go on their dates on Friday nights, meet here in the field afterwards and whoever had a worse time would decide what the two of them would do together Saturday night to get over it. Though most of the time Merlin had been winning recently. It’s hard to have a better night than Arthur when his usually ended with, “Then Sophia gave me a hand-job and we said goodnight,” and Merlin’s ended with him saying, “I made her cry.”

“No, no,” Merlin says, “I said it sucks, but I didn’t say you won.”

Arthur rolls his eyes, “Oh, you have something worse than being dumped on your arse because she doesn’t like the colour of your hair?”

Merlin sighs, and chugs down the whole of his beer before continuing. Arthur’s gonna take the piss.

“I broke Freya’s face.”

Arthur stares blankly at him, “You what?” his lips are already curling up into a smirk.

“I broke Freya’s face,” Merlin says again.

“What does that even mean, _Mer_ lin?"

“Okay, well… I took her dancing—”

“Wait, _what?—”_

“—Oh shut up you complete and utter prat—”

“—Why the hell were you dancing?”

“She wanted to go dancing!” Merlin says exasperatedly, “So I took her dancing!”

Arthur barked out a laugh, “Okay, continue,” he says, laying back down on the grass and resting his arms behind his head, relaxing. 

Merlin rolls his eyes. “I took her dancing at the old church in town, I pay for us to take a lesson and so we’re dancing, we’re having a good time. A-and so they’re teaching us this move, something about a grab and spin? So we’re practicing, and at first I’m pretty good at it. But then one time I grabbed Freya, and I spun her and she just kind of… kept spinning… until she hit the ground.”

At this point in time Arthur is doubling over laughing and Merlin is throwing his empty beer can at Arthur’s face.

“So what did you do?” Arthur laughs, wiping his eyes.

“Well, I took her to the hospital. She cried, like, the entire way there. And when we got there she asked me to call her mom,” Merlin says.

“Oh god.”

“Her mom got there and asked me to, ‘Please leave.’”

“That’s rough.”

“Yeah,” Merlin goes to lay down beside Arthur on the grass, “So I win. And I choose… coming out here and drinking the rest of the beer.”

“Merlin, that’s fucking lame and you know it. Come to my house.”

“Fine.”

Merlin — as he is kind of a lightweight — is already feeling a bit fuzzy, a little bit too dizzy even though he just broke a girl’s nose tonight. The area around them is mostly dark, though the stars and the moon are lighting everything up. He turns to look at Arthur for a moment who is just staring up at the sky. Merlin wonders for a moment if he’s actually torn up about this whole Sophia thing.

“You know what, Merlin?” Arthur says, Merlin merely hums in response, “I-I’ve been thinking of something. I don’t really get why we bother spending our Friday nights with these girls we _might_ end up liking, when we could be spending it with someone I know I enjoy spending my time with — like, well, _you_ I guess.”

“Thank you so very much, Arthur,” Merlin scoffs, “that might be the kindest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“No I’m serious, though,” Arthur continues, “I’m sitting here thinking like, not much in this world actually makes me happy. Morgana is a right bitch most of the time, doesn’t want to spend much of her time with me anymore. My father is, well he’s my father. So that, like, I don’t know it really freaks me out. Because shit like your family is supposed to be the stuff that makes you feel good and, like, loved or whatever. But they don’t, I don’t think they ever really have. So I get thinking, is there anything in this world that actually makes me happy? Because if there isn’t even one thing in this world that doesn’t make sense, or doesn’t make you happy then what’s the point of even being here? But, like, I was thinking and I realized there is something in my life that makes me feel really good, and that does make sense, and it’s you.”

The air in Merlin’s throat catches. He’s staring at Arthur, whose face turns to look at his. Then they’re both just sitting there, looking at one another. What the hell did Arthur just say? What did Merlin just hear? Since when had Arthur been holding his hand?! 

Merlin himself is caught up in whatever moment Arthur just created and he gets distracted for a moment by the feel of Arthur’s hand on his, the look in his eyes. It’s a look that Merlin has never seen on Arthur’s face before. It’s soft, it’s like he can see right into Arthur and Merlin doesn’t like this. Is this what best friends do?

Suddenly they’re both moving.

“Right—” Arthur says. 

“—Yeah—” Merlin says.

“—So I guess we’ll just—”

“—Go home, yeah—”

“—Probably best.”

Silence.

“Are we, uh, still on tomorrow?” Arthur asks.

“Uh, yeah sure,” Merlin stutters. “Just, y’know. Text me or something.”

Arthur nods, “Sure. See ya, mate.”

“Bye,” Merlin says, and starts off in the direction of his house at a fast pace.

What the fuck just happened?

 

* * *

 

**MERLIN (Fri. 23:55 P.M.) TO FREYA:** Hey Freya it’s Merlin. Really sorry about tonight. What can I say, I’m a total clutz. I understand if you don’t wanna talk to me but I just want you to know I’m really sorry and I hope maybe we can still hang out. Sorry again.

 

* * *

 

Somehow, Merlin and Arthur are able to forget about the weird events of a slightly intoxicated conversation on Friday night. They spend Saturday evening at Arthur’s playing video games, though they seem to stay away from having one too many drinks. Merlin notices a bit of awkward tension between the two of them but he doesn’t really want to think about it much. Though he can still feel Arthur’s eyes on him, the warmth of his hand — wait, nope. No, no. Merlin wasn’t thinking about it, he wasn’t.

He and Arthur just sit there and talk about random shit, like their A-levels homework, or if they think Gwen and Lance have finally had sex or not. Random guy shit, total random big-dude-guy crap and absolutely nothing about whether or not it feels right to be in the same room as one another, sit at a close distance on Arthur’s leather couch. Everything is back to normal.

Except for Merlin can’t sleep. It’s Saturday night — Sunday morning? But he can’t sleep. Arthur’s words keep running around in his head.

_There is something in my life that makes me feel really good, and that does make sense, and it’s you._

What the hell was Merlin supposed to think of that? He and Arthur had never talked to each other like that. They had been friends since elementary school, best friends even. But Arthur had never been that open to him. The only time Merlin can think of that comes close is once when they were 15 they spoke briefly of Merlin’s father and Arthur’s mother. But it was nothing like this. Nothing that left Merlin with butterflies in his stomach and his palms sweaty like this did. Nothing that kept him from sleeping — something Merlin very much enjoyed, thank you.

“What the bloody hell, Arthur?” Merlin wonders out loud to himself. 

Suddenly his phone is going off.

**ARTHUR (Sun. 1:56 A.M.) TO MERLIN:** U left ur fuckin sweater at my house.

Merlin rolls his eyes. Okay?

**MERLIN (Sun. 1:56 A.M.) TO ARTHUR:** Ok? I’ll get it tmrw  
**ARTHUR (Sun. 1:56 A.M.)** **TO MERLIN** : Or u can look outside ur window

Merlin looks at the text in confusion, but manages to get up and walk over to his window. He opens it up, the Autumn air cooling his skin and he sees Arthur. Fucking Arthur standing outside his window with what must be Merlin’s sweater in his hand.

“What the hell, Arthur?” Merlin says, as quietly as he can.

“Dunno,” Arthur says, “I couldn’t sleep and I remembered you left your sweater—”

“So you bring it over to my house at two in the morning?” Merlin questions, “Are you mental?”

Even from an entire storey up Merlin can see Arthur roll his eyes, “Just come down here you girl.”

Merlin stutters, but eventually closes his window and goes outside to meet Arthur.

“Give me that,” Merlin says, grabbing his sweater from Arthur’s grip. Arthur who has a ridiculous smirk plastered on his face, and Merlin wants to punch that look right off his face. “Seriously, Arthur have you gone completely mental?”

Arthur shrugs, “Nah, just bored. Wanna go for a walk?”

Merlin is actually going to hit him. Or drive him to an insane asylum. “Arthur, it’s two in the morning, go the fuck home and go to sleep.” Merlin goes to walk inside, but Arthur grabs a hold of his wrist.

“Come on, Merls,” he says with a blinding grin.

“Don’t ever call me Merls,” Merlin growls, and sets off down the street with Arthur.

 

* * *

 

“What did you think of that test?” Gwaine asks Monday at lunch, just as everyone is settling in around the round lunch table. There’s a general mumble of “good” or “bad” while people just start straight on their lunches. 

“I think it went well,” Gwen says, it seems like the entire table rolls their eyes.

“Of course you did, Gwen. You’re _you_ ,” Merlin says. Gwen shines a bright smile Merlin’s way, and Lance drops a kiss on her cheek.

“Alright kids,” Elyan grumbles, and Gwen sticks her tongue out at her brother.

“Move over _Mer_ lin,” Arthur says, appearing from around the corner as he pushes his way in beside Merlin at the table.

“Is there a magic word that goes along with that you clotpole?” Merlin snarks.

“Move over, Merlin, _please_?” Arthur says, moving into Merlin’s space with a smirk. A slight blush curls over Merlin’s neck.

“Thank you,” he says slightly breathlessly, and he can _feel_ Arthur’s grin.

“And here they are, everyone’s favourite married couple, Mr. and Mrs. Pendragon,” Gwaine laughs, “Please stop flirting you’re making everyone here jealous.”

“We’re not flirting!” Merlin chirped.

“And we’re not acting like a married couple,” Arthur says taking a bite of his food.

“And just because I’m skinner than Arthur doesn’t mean I’m the ‘Mrs.’” Merlin glowers. 

Gwaine smirks, “Don’t worry Merlin, Princess here is the ‘Mrs.’”

Merlin laughs and waves his carrot stick in Arthur’s face in a mocking way, “Haha! Whose the girl _now_ Pendragon?”

“Shut up, _Mer_ lin,” Arthur says, dropping his hand discreetly to rest on Merlin’s thigh and _squeezes_ causing Merlin to squeak and jump slightly in his seat. Before anyone notices Arthur has taken his hand off Merlin’s leg and stolen his carrot stick and taken a bite out of it with a loud _crack._

“You okay, Merlin?” Gwen questions innocently.

Merlin nods, his neck flushing a little bit more. Thankfully Lance changes the topic back to the History test, but when Merlin looks back over at Arthur he has that stupid _smirk_ back on his face.

Merlin thinks he’s actually gonna kill him.

* * *

 

 **ARTHUR (Thurs. 7:30 A.M.) TO MERLIN:** Morning idiot. See you at school :-) 

 

* * *

It only gets worse from there, Arthur’s slightly obvious flirting. Okay, maybe it’s not obvious to everyone else, maybe it’s just obvious to Merlin because he’s known Arthur for about 85% of his life. It’s little things at first, like Arthur holding open a door for Merlin, whispering into his ear, “You first, m’lady.” Or more lunch time incidents, like Arthur touching his arm, his leg, his lowerback, sometimes any part of Merlin Arthur can reach. Merlin tries to ignore it, tries not to read too much into it. He and Arthur are close, everyone knows that, but they’ve never been like this, they’ve touched yes but not touches with a slight undertone of … feelings. 

The worst moment is when Merlin realizes _everyone else knows._ It’s a Friday night, the first Friday night in a long time where Merlin or Arthur don’t have some date with some girl. It’s been about two weeks since _that_ Friday night. Gwaine is having a bunch of people over at his house: Merlin, Arthur, Gwen, Lance, Morgana, Elyan, Percival, Leon and Elena. They’re all sitting in Gwaine’s living room, surrounded by pop bottles and bags of popcorn and chips.

He and Arthur are sitting shoulders pressed together against the back of Gwaine’s couch, Arthur had just whispered a joke about how the main character in the movie they were watching was totally “hot for the villain” and Merlin was snickering quietly to himself, taking in Arthur’s smile.

“What are you two nerds laughing about?” Morgana asks with a scowl from across the room.

“Nothing,” they say in unison, before the attention focuses back on the movie. Arthur’s gaze is still on Merlin which causes a shiver to go up Merlin’s spine.

“Are you cold?” Arthur asks him quietly.

Merlin shakes his head, “No, I’m fine.”

“Oh quit it Merlin, you just shivered, here—” Arthur begins taking off the sweater he’s wearing.

A feeling of panic goes through Merlin, “N-no Arthur i-it’s fine,” he says trying to stay quiet, but it’s no use, people have started to noticed their little squabble.

Arthur shoves Merlin hands away and drapes his sweater over Merlin’s shoulders. “There, you idiot. Calm down.” But Merlin notices the blush that’s spread over Arthur’s cheeks though he turns back to television.

Merlin takes a quick glance around the room to see that _everyone_ is looking at them. Merlin feels a little bit frozen on the spot, and subconsciously cozies down into Arthur’s sweater, willing them all to look away.

A few minutes later, Percival pipes up: “We’re out of popcorn!”

Merlin jumps up throwing Arthur’s sweater back to him, needing any reason to get out of the room, “I’ll get it.” he grabs the bowl from Percival before anyone else can volunteer and runs into Gwaine’s kitchen.

He should have known Arthur would follow him, “Merlin why in gods name are you so jumpy tonight?”

Merlin jumps, “I’m not jumpy!”

Arthur just stares at him.

Merlin stares back for a moment, “I guess I’m just, like, not feeling the best or whatever.”

Arthur steps closer, “Are you getting sick?”

“Oh, uh, I dunno. Maybe, I guess it is the time of year for that—” Merlin stops talking as Arthur comes into his space and presses their foreheads together. “Um…”

“Oh calm down,” Arthur huffs, pulling back, “I was just checking your temperature. You do kind of feel warm.”

“You were checking my temperature by…?” Merlin stumbles off.

Arthur rolls his eyes, “One of my nannies always did it to me. She said it was because your hands are sometimes cooler than the rest of your body, so forehead to forehead is a more accurate way to tell.”

Merlin nods, “Interesting,” eyeing the lack of space between the two of them. Arthur seems to always be close recently.

“Do you want me to take you home?” Arthur questions, eyes darting over Merlin’s face.

“Well, um—”

“I’ll take you home, come on,” Arthur says, gesturing towards the door.

Merlin figures the easiest solution is to just follow orders.

The ride home is quiet and somewhat tense. Merlin stares out his window as Arthur drives. It seems to be taking forever, Merlin just wants to be home and not near Arthur. Being near Arthur is too confusing right now.

They pull up in Merlin’s driveway, Merlin turns to Arthur who turns off the car.

“Do you want me to come in?” Arthur asks.

“Have you talked to Sophia recently?” Merlin finds himself blurting out.

Arthur quirks an eyebrow, “Since she dumped me two weeks ago? No, Merlin I haven’t talked to her.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Why?”

“I dunno — don’t you want, like, closure or something?”

Arthur rolls his eyes, “She dumped me because she didn’t like the colour of my _hair_ , I can get over that without having to talk to her. Trust me.”

“So, you’re — um — you’re _not_ over her then?” Merlin asks. 

Arthur’s eyes meet Merlin’s, there’s a sudden silence, the air feels thicker. Arthur whispers, “Merlin,” his eyes dropping to Merlin’s mouth. His _mouth_? Arthur’s hand moves to rest on Merlin’s knee, and he’s leaning closer almost as if he’s going to—

Merlin moves so suddenly, desperate to get out of this situation that he bangs his head against the wall of Arthur’s car, his hand grappling for the door handle.

“I-I have to go, thanks for driving me home,” he says quickly, as he pushes the door open and gets up.

“Merlin?” Merlin forces himself not to focus on the hurt look in Arthur’s eyes as he looks back in the car.

“Good _bye_ Arthur,” Merlin pleads, before closing the door and running into his house.

 

* * *

  

 **MISSED CALL FROM ARTHUR (Fri. 20:55 P.M.)  
****ARTHUR (Fri. 20:56 P.M.) TO MERLIN:** Merlin  
**MISSED CALL FROM ARTHUR (Fri. 20:58 P.M.)  
****ARTHUR (Fri. 20:59 P.M.) TO MERLIN:** Merlin answer ur godamn phone u idiot  
**ARTHUR (Fri. 21:02 P.M.) TO MERLIN:** U really must be sick ur acting like a complete loon  
**MISSED CALL FROM ARTHUR (Fri. 21:05 P.M.)  
****ARTHUR (Fri. 21:06 P.M.) TO MERLIN:** Fine. Be this way  
**ARTHUR (Fri. 21:32 P.M.) TO MERLIN:** Feel better m8  
**ARTHUR (Fri. 22:41 P.M.) TO MERLIN:** Goodnight, Merlin.

 

* * *

 

 **MERLIN (Sat. 12:34 P.M.)** **TO GWEN:** Gwen. I need your girly advice.  
**GWEN (Sat. 12:40 P.M.) TO MERLIN:** About? Lance is here.  
**MERLIN (Sat. 12:40 P.M.) TO GWEN:** Long story. If Lance promises to keep a secret he can know too.  
**GWEN (Sat. 12:47 P.M.) TO MERLIN:** He promises, come over.

 

* * *

 

 

“I think Arthur is taking his break-up with Sophia out on me.” 

Gwen looks at Merlin questionably, “So he’s, hitting you?” she asks. They’re all sitting in Gwen’s house, Lance sitting beside her with an arm around her shoulders. Merlin thanks the lord Elyan is out at his footie practice, he couldn’t handle this if he knew there was a possibility Elyan could be eavesdropping. 

“No, no,” Merlin shakes his head, “he’s — um,” he pauses. How the hell is he going to explain this one? “He’s acting very, uh … affectionate?”

“He’s hitting _on_ you?” Lance asks with a smile. Clearly too proud of himself.

“Kind of?” Merlin squeaks.

Gwen laughs, “Elaborate please, Merlin.”

So Merlin unloads the whole story. He starts at _that night_ in the field when Arthur told Merlin about Sophia, and about how their friendship was the only thing that felt right to him. How ever since then Arthur had been, yes, very affectionate, doing kind things. The good morning and goodnight texts, the lending of sweaters and touches to the arms, legs, shoulders, backs. And finally—

“—last night he tried to kiss me.” Merlin finishes.

Gwen and Lance gape.

“He _kissed you_?!” Gwen screeches.

Merlin covers his ears, “Okay um, one) _ow_ , fuck Gwen. And two) _no_ he didn’t kiss me he _tried_ to. Keyword: tried.”

Lance sighs, as he reaches out his wallet and pulls out a small wad of cash, and hands it to Gwen, who takes it with glee and begins to count.

“Excuse me?!” Merlin screeches, “What the bloody hell is this?”

“Well you see, last night after Arthur left to drive you home we all began taking bets on why the two of you have been acting so weird,” Lance explains.

“Elena, Morgana, Gwaine and I thought that the two of you were harbouring secret feelings for each other. More specifically, Arthur for you. No one else thought so,” Gwen giggles, “Glad to see we won.”

“Hey!” Merlin exclaims, “There are no secret feelings! The only feeling here,” he points to himself, “is confusion!”

Gwen sighs, and takes Merlin’s hands, “Oh, Merlin. You are a dunce sometimes.” Lance laughs.

“I have to admit, I can see it now,” Lance says, “Gwaine wasn’t joking when he said you two were like a married couple.”

“This wasn’t what I came here for,” Merlin pouts.

“Well then what did you want us to do?” Gwen asks.

“I wanted you to agree with me that Arthur is acting like a lunatic, and to help me figure out a way to get him sedated or something,” Merlin says, “I want my friend back.”

Gwen and Lance just look at each other and sigh.

“Oh come on! You guys got so angry at us when we were trying to force you guys into a relationship,” Merlin groans, “Don’t to the same to me and Arthur.”

“You fail to notice, Merlin, that ever since Gwen and I listened to you all, we’ve been dating and are incredibly happy,” Lance smirks.

Merlin throws a pillow at Lance’s head. 

 

* * *

**FREYA (Sat. 17:34) TO MERLIN:** Hi Merlin :-)  
**MERLIN (Sat. 17:36) TO FREYA:** Oh hey Freya.  
**FREYA (Sat. 17:38) TO MERLIN:** I’m sorry I never texted you back all those weeks ago. I was kind of totally embarrassed by what happened…  
**MERLIN (Sat. 17:39) TO FREYA:** YOU were embarrassed? I was the one who practically threw you across a room :-/  
**MERLIN (Sat. 17:39) TO FREYA:** Sorry again about that…  
**FREYA (Sat. 17:40) TO MERLIN:** LOL! It’s ok Merlin my face is almost healed now :-P  
**MERLIN (Sat. 17:42) TO FREYA:** Oh good :-P I’m glad

 

* * *

 

On Monday things were very different. Merlin didn’t get any good morning text from Arthur, he didn’t get a ride to school from Arthur and instead of going to his first class with Arthur he met Freya at the front doors and walked to class with her. 

When Merlin walked in with Freya, Arthur was already there. Arthur’s eyes darted between Freya and Merlin a few times before dropping to his hands. Merlin’s stomach drops.

He waves at Freya as he goes to sit down in his seat behind Arthur, who immediately (to Merlin’s surprise) turns around with a grin.

“So? You and Freya?”

Merlin’s shocked for a moment, before he responds. “Uh, maybe?”

“Since when?” Arthur asks.

Merlin shrugs, “She texted me Saturday night and we were talking for the rest of the weekend?”

Arthur’s smile falters for a second. “So she doesn’t hate you for breaking her face.”

Merlin chuckles, “No, apparently not.”

“Good on ya, mate.”

Maybe things will go back to normal.

 

* * *

 

For a little while they do. For the most part. Arthur turns back into being Merlin’s “mate” and though they don’t continue their Friday night beer drinking nights, they do go back to talking everyday, bickering with each other. Merlin notices now how Arthur holds back, how he always seems to disappear whenever Freya comes up to talk to Merlin in the hall. 

Freya is also a new development. He and Freya begin to talk most days, text sometimes on the weekends. Merlin doesn’t ask her out, though. He doesn’t really know why he just doesn’t get that vibe from her anymore. Freya’s pretty and all but… I guess when you break someone’s face on a first date it’s hard to ask someone out again.

 

* * *

 

 **GWEN (Wed. 18:04 P.M.) TO MERLIN:** You’re making a mistake, Merlin.  
**MERLIN (Wed. 18:09 P.M.) TO GWEN:** I have no idea what you’re talking about.  
**GWEN (Wed. 18:12 P.M.) TO MERLIN:** Yes you do. Quit messing around with Freya and talk to Arthur. He looks absolutely miserable, following you around like a puppy.

Merlin frowns. Arthur is nothing like a puppy.

 

* * *

 

One day while Merlin is wandering around the shopping centres in town by himself, he runs into Freya. 

“Oh, hi Merlin!” she smiles coming up to him and giving him a quick hug.

“Hi Freya,” Merlin says sheepishly, “What’s up?”

“Just finished work,” Freya returns, “I was heading home. Unless you want to go grab a coffee?”

Merlin thinks briefly about Gwen’s words: _Talk to Arthur._

“Yeah, sure.”

He and Freya walk a little bit until they come across a coffee shop, which Freya claims is one of her favourites. Merlin thinks it’s really overpriced but he holds his tongue and buys himself a hot chocolate, and he and Freya sit down at a table together.

Freya’s talking about her day, she works in one of those popular clothing shops that girls seem to love so much. She likes it a lot apparently, nattering on about her co-workers and the displays she got to put up that day. Merlin can’t seem to focus on anything she’s saying, because all he can see is Arthur’s eyes in the back of his head. Gwen’s voice, _you’re making a mistake._ His mind wanders to what would happen if Arthur stumbled upon Freya and Merlin in this coffee shop — he can picture the look on Arthur’s face clearly, because it’s the look that Merlin always ignores whenever Freya comes to him school. Or if when he and Arthur are hanging out and he asks who Merlin is texting all the time and he responds, “Oh just Freya.”

Merlin thinks back to his conversation that weekend with Gwen and Lance. _“Ever since Gwen and I listened to you all, we’ve been dating and are incredibly happy.”_ Lance had said.

_“There is something in my life that makes me feel really good, and that does make sense, and it’s you.”_

Arthur isn’t making Merlin feel good, he’s been making no sense. Ever since that stupid night in the field Arthur has been confusing Merlin left and right.

“Freya,” Merlin says quickly. Freya, who had been in the middle of saying something becomes quiet. “Freya,” Merlin says again, “Freya I’m sorry but I—I can’t date you.”

“What?”

Merlin looks at her, confused, “I can’t date you. You’re very nice, and you’re very pretty but I just — well I broke your face, Freya. Do you really want to be the guy who broke your face?”

Freya begins to laugh, she begins to laugh so much that she has to hide her mouth behind her and and try to control herself, “Merlin, oh god,” she laughs again.

“What the hell is so funny?” Merlin questions.

“Merlin, I—we’re not dating!” Freya says.

“Oh,” Merlin breathes a quiet sigh of relief, “We’re, um, not?”

“No,” Freya says, she reaches out and takes Merlin’s hand, “Merlin, we’re just friends. I thought you were dating Arthur.”

“What?!” Merlin yells.

Freya jumps, “Jeez— are you not?”

“No!” Merlin cries. What the hell is wrong with everybody?! “We’re just friends, Arthur and I.”

“Oh,” Freya blushes, “Well never mind then. But we’re still not dating.”

Merlin nods, “Agreed.” A pause. “Freya, if you’ll forgive me, I—there’s actually something I need to do. Thanks for getting coffee with me.”

“Oh of course, Merlin,” Freya smiles, “I’d still love to be your friend.”

Merlin gives Freya a quick hug, “Yeah, me too. Really.”

 

* * *

 

 **MERLIN (Sun. 13:56 P.M.) TO ARTHUR:** Meet me in the field?  
**ARTHUR (Sun. 13:58 P.M.) TO MERLIN:** Right now?  
**MERLIN (Sun. 14:01 P.M.) TO ARTHUR:** If you can?  
**ARTHUR (Sun. 14:02) P.M.) TO MERLIN:** B there soon

 

* * *

 

 Merlin is standing in the field shuffling his feet awkwardly when Arthur shows up. They share an awkward, “Hey” “Hi” kind of thing before standing in silence for a second.

“Okay,” Arthur says, “Well you asked me to come here, why I don’t know. So I’m assuming you’re going to speak first,” Arthur sighs.

Merlin lets out a long breath, “Arthur,” he starts, before closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Arthur,” he starts again, “you’re my best friend, in the whole world. And I just — I’m confused, honestly, I’m just really fucking confused about what’s going on here,” Merlin gestures between them. “You’re just — you’re being different, you’re messing around with things and I—”

“I’m in love with you,” Arthur blurts.

Merlin’s eyes grow wide, he feels as if they’re going to pop out. “What? Since when?” he says.

Arthur’s face is bright red, “I dunno since… since all those nights ago, since the last time we were here. We were just talking and I realized that I’m in love with you,” he says again.

“Don’t say that!” Merlin yells, throwing his hands up, and backing away from Arthur.

“Oh sorry, forgot that I couldn’t speak my mind!” Arthur snaps back.

“God, shut _up_ Arthur! You can’t just go around saying shit like that to me.”

“Why the hell not?” Arthur growls, “Why not if that’s how I feel?”

“Because Arthur!” Merlin says, “Because you _are_ my best friend, and guess what? _You’re_ about the only thing in my life that makes sense to me too, and now you’re going around and messing with that all because of your… your stupid _feelings_ or whatever. You’re messing with a good thing here, Arthur!” Merlin’s yelling, “There’s a line you can’t cross when you’re friends with someone, and now you’ve crossed it!” Merlin pushes past Arthur and begins to walk home, to get away. Then he stops abruptly. Everything seems to click into place in Merlin’s mind.

Oh shit.

“Oh _shit_.”

“Merlin?” Arthur asks hesitantly, Merlin can hear him shuffle closer behind Merlin.

Merlin turns around to look at Arthur, and he looks into Arthur’s eyes and sees the same look he saw here weeks ago. 

"I'm an idiot."

"I know that much," Arthur says.

“I think I’ve just gone and fell in love with you,” Merlin says, with a shy chuckle.

Arthur smiles, a blinding smile. “Well why the did you do that?” he asks, stepping closer and taking Merlin’s hand.

“Dunno,” Merlin laughs, “Guess it just felt right.”

And it does. It feels right when Arthur takes another step closer, it feels right when Arthur leans in and it feels _so right_ when Arthur kisses him. Right there, in their own little field where they used to complain about all the rotten dates they had. 

This is new, Merlin thinks, this is new and a little bit scary but it still feels right.

Oh, does it feel right.

 

* * *

 

 **ARTHUR (Sun. 22:45 P.M.) TO MERLIN:** Goodnight, Merlin. xx  
**MERLIN (Sun. 22:46 P.M.) TO ARTHUR:** Goodnight, Prat. xx :-) 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a short scene from the play “Almost, Maine” I recently saw this scene and realized how easy it would be to make this Modern Highschool!AU Merthur. 
> 
> Title based off the song “I Feel It All” by Feist.


End file.
